The Technology-as-a-Religion Zealot

  • Posted on: 18 March 2015
  • By: davis

The Tech Zealot would have been extremely religious in another life. Brought into a world where religion is rapidly losing relevance and stature, the Tech Zealot disdains God and those who blindly follow him.

Instead, the Tech Zealot believes in the future. Everything's better in the future because of AI. Artificial Intelligence is just around the corner guys! All inequality will soon be solved!

The term Machine Learning literally gives this person a hard on. They can't help it. 

The Tech Zealot feels compelled to update their friends on self driving car technology ("ALMOST HERE GUYS, CAN'T WAIT"), Elon Musk ("ADORABLE"), and the eccentricities of Steve Jobs.

The Tech Zealot is easily exploited by putting "SCIENCE" in a headline. The Tech Zealot is generally interested in "scientifically" proving their social likes and dislikes, and LOVE to post articles about posture and conversational tactics.

Side Note: Steve Jobs Fanatics - These folks generally fall in a celebrity-worship category - they know they're supposed to like the man and admire him, so they do. To anyone reading this that has ever decided to base their management style on Steve Jobs - I'll break down his success for you.

  1. Be incredibly creatively gifted, work hard on your talents, and surround yourself with greatness.
  2. Work hard.
  3. Work hard.

Please, don't stop taking showers just because you read that he did that. Genghis Khan was an extraordinarily effective leader of men, but I don't go around raping whole villages in order to emulate him.

Anyways, back to the Tech Zealot, who is currently pasting something from Hacker News/WIRED/Techcrunch into their Facebook feed. The Tech Zealot means well, but is quite vulnerable to breathless claims about the future.

Much in the same way that villagers used to turn to religion as a cure for their existential woes, the Tech Zealot believes all problems will be solved... eventually... and by someone else. 

It should be noted: The Tech Zealot generally does not actually do anything related to technology.

The people with the most ardent futuristic hopes are usually the ones who don't understand how things like a web browser work. Just like most of life - those who don't know much are usually the most optimistic.