No One Cares About Your Excuse For Being Late

  • Posted on: 8 July 2015
  • By: davis

Hoooooly shit is this some new thing the internet is going through?

I'm seeing tons of shitty clickbait articles from EliteDaily, Buzzfeed, et. al about the habits of chronically late people.

Seriously, look at this stupid fucking title - "Optimistic People All Have One Thing In Common: They’re Always Late"

Here are some related articles in EliteDaily's sidebar:

Sensitive People Aren’t Weak, They’re Actually Natural-Born Leaders

Worriers, Rejoice! Your Anxiety Actually Means You’re More Intelligent

Creative, Not Cluttered: I’m Not Messy, I Just Thrive In Chaos

Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty About Watching Shitty TV Shows

Do you see a pattern here? Hint: It's capitalizing on weakness by telling people that their faults are actually strengths.

It's okay for me to weigh 300 pounds - EliteDaily told me it makes me more creative, fun, and optimistic!

If you have posted this to your Facebook wall with the caption "See, it's not my fault" - FUCK YOU. Own your faults.

Here are some choice quotes from this retarded article:

People with a tendency for tardiness like to stop and smell the roses, and those with a propensity for punctuality could learn a thing or two from them (and vice versa).

People who are habitually late don’t sweat over the small stuff, they concentrate on the big picture and see the future as full of infinite possibilities.

People who are continuously late are actually just more optimistic. [...] Simply put, they’re fundamentally hopeful.

Do the people that re-post this article actually believe this tripe? We are floating inexorably through time and space. We live in a world where we can control the X, Y, and Z axis, but Time is inevitable and stops for no man. It's probably safe to say that time management is the single most important skill you can muster, because Time is the only thing you unequivocally cannot stop. Would you like another go at rationalizing your inability to, you know, pay attention to one of the most fundamental concepts of existence?

Jesus, this is the mental equivalent of watching a someone shove McDonalds into their mouth while saying "I'm avoiding green food because I read a study that said it makes you fat." No one but you is buying your bullshit - and you're announcing to the world that you lack a pretty valuable skillset, e.g. being on fucking time.

Let me settle this for you.

No one gives a shit about why you're late constantly. They just know that you are.

Yes, everyone knows that being on time 100% is not possible, there will always be random accidents or slowdowns and we can understand that.

But if you're the type of person who's sharing articles titled "10 Reasons Chronically Late People Are Actually Jesus Reincarnated" - fuuuuuuck you.

"Hey guys, I figured out how to solve my time management issues. See, I read this thing on the Internet (written by a bored copywriter)! It totally absolves me of all responsibility!"

No one cares about your excuse. No one cares that your brain "works differently" - yeah, my brain worked differently in high school, that's why I never turned in homework. My teachers didn't take much pity on that. If only I had a clickbait article to show them that someone on the Internet validated my feelings! No one cares that you really really try. Either do it or don't.

This self-pitying, self-excusing bullshit is way too much. At least own the fact that you're late to stuff.

Just say "Yeah, I suck at time management, I know." Don't try rationalizing this shit.